return my video game
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
