You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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