every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
