I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
