Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize