i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
