I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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