apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
