The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
