yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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