her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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