oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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