Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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