i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
