Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
