2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
