Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
