My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
