My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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