my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize