Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Found the puke drawer
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
