her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize
