Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize