Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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