i just google imaged poop.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
