Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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