it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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