we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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