Pappa wants mamma naked
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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