it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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