direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
