Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
