Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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