I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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