Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
