actually, I'm a sock model
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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