She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
NoShamevember. You game?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
