sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize