Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
