what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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