did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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