Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
