but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize