Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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