god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
