She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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