You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
