i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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