Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
