if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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