the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
