Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
