so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
