Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
