im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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