I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
