Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
