U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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