I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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