My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
