I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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