my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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