I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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