Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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