if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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