their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
