Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
