so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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