we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
