bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
