He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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