She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
