forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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