So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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