There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
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