Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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