i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Two words: blizzard sex
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
