This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
