So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize